TORMENT

By

Iona Blair

EXCERPT

FREEWAY TRAFFIC BELTED PAST the Starlight Motel, double-glazed windows blocked out the racket. Jay turned on the radio, and lay down on the bed. He expected Darren at any minute.

They’d been super cautious about their intimate encounters, choosing a motel far out of the city and both arriving separately. They even parked their cars several blocks away. But even so…Jay realized he was playing with fire.

His two separate worlds were veering precariously close together. This wasn’t Afghanistan, or even the Regina Airport Inn, thousands of miles from home. The regimental dance had demonstrated this, dramatically. Introducing his wife to Darren had made Jay squirm with the inappropriateness of it all.

He felt as if he were careening along in a runaway train––unable to get off, helpless––and bracing himself for the inevitable crash.

“Sorry I’m late,” Darren’s arrival burst in on his thoughts. “The traffic is murder.”

As always, his presence chased away the fears, which simply overwhelmed Jay, when he brooded, alone. Something that felt this right, he told himself for the umpteenth time, could not be wrong.

Then why are you so damned unhappy and scared shitless of getting caught? The little voice got busy on its self-appointed mission to torment him. Your double life is tearing you apart Jay. I think from now on I’ll call you Solomon’s child!

He ignored it and grasped Darren in his arms. They kissed for ages. Kept their lovemaking slow and measured. Now that they were seeing each other, regularly, the insane couplings that had threatened to devour them had ceased. The excitement was just as intense, Jay noted, but tempered by less urgency.